Looking back on yesterday’s…
Kaia started her first day of Kindergarten on Tuesday the 9th. I was very nervous for her; but, somehow, I knew she’d be okay… That she would adapt just fine. The Mom that I carry deep down in my heart Let Go of my first child, in the sense that I am now giving her learning powers and imagination the true strength it needs to soar.
[I remember my first day of Kindergarten; my mom had the same look on her face when I walked into the classroom that I Felt on my own face the day Kaia sat down in her seat at school].
Surprisingly to me, I have generally been easily accepting of this new change in her life; my life; the family’s life. It’s actually almost refreshing to know that she is going to be starting her learning journey from people other than Mom and Dad. [We don’t realize how many things, throughout our lives that we have learned from influences and resources outside of our homes].
Along with looking back on Yesterday’s:
When Kaia was going to preschool, a couple of years ago, I was in a different Life situation. I wasn’t able to give her life the attention it needed for the stage that she was in at the time. I was working and commuting nearly 80 hours a week, trying to maintain livelihood. With my Mom’s help, we traded and swapped the girls from house to car to apartment, to uphold schedules and “have-to’s.”
There were many times that Kaia would need to take something special to school, wear a special outfit, make something at home to take in; and I neglected a lot of those experiences. I felt awful after each unexpected disappointment. [It made me believe that I wasn’t a reliable Mother; even though I was, and I knew I was, because my girls were both happy and healthy, and I was doing what I needed to for our lives].
When I was sitting with Kaia (and Holly, too) at Kindergarten registration on August 2nd, I looked around at all the other families there… and remembered how I felt going to my first day of REAL school; not just preschool. [Even as the 5 year old Megan that I was, somehow I knew that going to K was different than PreSch. It had a different aura… like you knew you were starting something Big].
At that moment, I vowed to myself and my Kaia, and my Holly, that I was going to be the support and reliability that they need during this new journey. The soil their roots need to base has been tilled; the water they absorb will moisten their roots to help them grow into their personalities… nurtured by the [Mother] Sun.
- Omegan :-D
